The Project Gutenberg EBook of Le Noël des Petits Gueux, by Max du Veuzit

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Title: Le Noël des Petits Gueux

Author: Max du Veuzit

Release Date: December 25, 2008 [EBook #27619]

Language: French

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LE NOËL DES PETITS GUEUX ***

Produced by Daniel Fromont

[Transcriber's note: Max du Veuzit (pseudonyme d'Alphonsine Vavasseur-Acher Mme François Simonet) (1876-1952), Le Noël des Petits Gueux (1909)]

Max du VEUZIT

Le Noël des Petits Gueux

PIECE REALISTE EN UN ACTE

PRIX: 1 Franc

1909

Tous droits de traduction et de reproduction réservés

pour tous pays

PERSONNAGES:

UN IVROGNE… 45 ans environ

MARIA… 14 ans

CARLOT… 8 ans

DECOR:

Sept heures du soir, en hiver, dans une chaumière misérablement meublée.

Une table boiteuse, des chaises de paille, un mauvais lit dans le fond.

Port à gauche, au dernier plan, fermant par un loquet de bois.

Sur la table, verres, bouteilles vides et chandelier, pêle-mêle.

Au lever du rideau, la scène est plongée dans l'obscurité.

SCENE I

L'IVROGNE

L'ivrogne d'une voix pâteuse chante dans la coulisse:

—Viens Poupoule, viens, etc…

La porte s'ouvre et il apparaît titubant. Une bouteille pleine sort à moitié de sa poche. Toujours chantant, il fait quelques pas, puis s'arrête:

— Une vraie bouteille à l'encre!… Ca manque de bec de gaz!

Se cognant au lit:

— Oh!… quelle turne!

Se cramponnant au lit:

— C'est c'tte sacrée Maria qu'aura mis une chaise là pour que j'me f… par terre!… Y a plus d'enfants! L'respect d'la famille s'en va complètement!

Il cherche une allumette dans ses poches.

— Je… J'vais allumer l'électricité.

Il frotte une allumette, qui rate, puis une seconde et une troisième.

— Vive la Régie!

Au public:

— La Régie a été instituée pour embêter les citoyens, mais ça prend pas avec moi… quand l'allumette rate, j'crie vive la Régie… pour la narguer!… et quand elle ne rate pas… (Il en prend une:) Vive la République!

Tenant délicatement l'allumette enflammée il s'avance vers la cheminée:

— Où qu'il est, le lustre?…

Il cherche:

— Le lustre à Bibi n'est pas là!

Il allume une autre allumette et va vers la table:

— Là!… Voici le réverbère en question.

Il veut atteindre la chandelle mais sa main qui tremble semble vouloir allumer tous les goulots des bouteilles:

— Ca doit être encore un tour de c'tte sacrée Maria… C'est humide, ça peut pas brûler, pardi!

Larmoyant:

— Si c'est pas malheureux d'avoir une fille qui mouille tous les bouts de chandelle!

Il a fini cependant par allumer celle-ci. Tombant en arrêt devant les bouteilles vides:

— Quelle armée!… Si c'est moi le copain qui ai vidé tout ça j'suis pas à plaindre, mon colon!

Se cognant l'estomac:

— Une vraie panse de député qui veut analyser tous les liquides de la buvette…

Il passe la revue des bouteilles:

— Zut! Tout est sifflé!… Alors faut serrer la ceinture?… Non!
Zidor a des réserves dans sa cave.

Il tire la bouteille de sa poche:

— Voilà! M'sieu est servi!!

Il boit un peu:

— C'est du nanan… le réveillon oblige.

Il commence à boire; son ivresse doit aller croissant. En riant, il chantonne:

— Tout tourne! Tout tourne… (parlant) Ca vous met du soleil en tête… J'ai… j'ai vingt ans… le coeur solide (au public) Y en a pas un qui me roulerait en ce moment. Qu'est-ce qui veut lutter avec moi. J'parie vingt ronds.

Il a posé machinalement la bouteille dans un coin et quand il veut recommencer à boire il en prend une vide sur la table. Il la porte à ses lèvres, puis l'examine étonné. La voix de plus en plus pâteuse:

— Ca coule plus! (au public) C'est encore c'tte sacrée Maria… elle a bouché le goulot…

Pleurnichant:

— Si c'est pas malheureux d'avoir une fille qui met des bouchons là où qu'il en faut pas!…

Il s'asseoit près de la table, luttant contre le sommeil:

— Mon pauvre Zidor! t'as pas de chance avec tes enfants… Ils ne te font que des mauvais tours!

Il s'assoupit, mais bientôt se redresse en sursaut:

— Maria!… fais-moi mon lit… (un temps) Tu veux pas me faire mon lit!… (larmoyant) Ca te portera pas chance…

Il attend et reprend d'un air autoritaire:

— Ton père est fatigué, Maria!

Changeant de ton et pleurnichant:

— Non! mais c'est y pas malheureux… d'avoir une fille qui… qui fait rien au lit!

(Il tombe endormi d'un lourd sommeil d'ivrogne. Il est affaissé plutôt qu'assis sur sa chaise; le haut du corps et la tête s'appuient sur la table. Quand il commence à ronfler, la porte s'ouvre timidement et Charlot passe la tête par l'entrebâillement. Les bouteilles l'empêchent de voir son père).

SCENE II

L'IVROGNE, MARIA, CHARLOT

CHARLOT, à voix basse

On ne voit rien.

MARIA

Regarde bien.

CHARLOT

Sûr!… Y a personne!

MARIA, ouvrant davantage la porte

Pourtant il y a de la lumière.

CHARLOT

Il est peut-être reparti!

MARIA

Mon Dieu! pourvu qu'il ne soit pas allé au cabaret.

CHARLOT

Mince de réveillon, alors!

(Ils sont entrés; Maria aperçoit l'ivrogne, instinctivement, elle saisit le bras du petit).

MARIA

Oh!… Il est là!

CHARLOT

Zut!

MARIA

Fais point de bruit, Charlot.

(Elle referme la porte très doucement. Charlot s'est avancé sur la pointe des pieds vers l'ivrogne et l'examine).

CHARLOT, piteusement.

Il est paf! C'est notre veine!

MARIA

Chut! il dort! Ne le réveillons pas: ses réveils sont terribles.

CHARLOT

Il casse et brise tout!

MARIA

Oui, mais on peut tout de même être tranquilles… on s'couchera sans qu'il nous entende.

(Elle prend le petit dans ses bras et l'assied sur une chaise près du lit pour qu'il s'appuie sur celui-ci).

Reste là, mon gosse, je vais te déshabiller tout à l'heure.

CHARLOT

Me déshabiller?

MARIA

Oui.

CHARLOT, plaintivement.

Mais j'ai faim, Maria… On va pas dormir comme ça.

MARIA, tressaillant

T'as faim?

CHARLOT

Et j'suis gelé, encore! C'est pas ce qu'on a mangé aujourd'hui qui m'a réchauffé l'estomac: un gendarme et du pain, c'est guère réconfortant!

MARIA

Pauvre gosse…

(Ses yeux vont à l'ivrogne dont la respiration devient bruyante. Elle a un geste de colère).

Y s'a soûlé, encore, c'bougre-là!… On n'a boulotté qu'un croûton dur d'puis l'matin. Va t'y falloir encore s'coucher sans souper.

CHARLOT

C'est crevant!

MARIA

C'est Noël: y s'ra pas allé travailler cet après-midi… Depuis que la mère est défunte, c'est comme ça à toutes les fêtes!

CHARLOT

Ah! si maman était là!…

MARIA

Allons, pleure pas, Charlot; tu sais bien que j'fais ce que j'peux pour la remplacer…

CHARLOT

Mais t'as beau travailler, y te prend toute ta galette.

MARIA, haussant les épaules

Oui, et après on meurt de faim, pardi!

CHARLOT, après un temps

Allons, Maria, donne-moi quelque chose, j'ai faim.

MARIA, à mi-voix

Y a pu rien dans l'buffet…

CHARLOT

Mais j'ai mal là… (Il montre son estomac et éclate en sanglots)
J'veux manger, moi.

MARIA

Y a rien!

CHARLOT

C'est amusant!

(Soudain Maria s'avance vers l'ivrogne)

Ah et puis!!… Tant pis s'il se réveille et s'il casse tout! (Elle le secoue par le bras) Eh l'père!… l'gosse a faim; faudrait voir à y donner à manger.

L'IVROGNE, soulevant la tête et essayant d'ouvrir les yeux

Hein!… Quoi!…

MARIA

L'gosse a faim!

L'IVROGNE

Ca fait rien.

(Il retombe lourdement endormi).

MARIA, le secouant plus fortement

Ben, voyons, écoute-moi… J'te dis qu'on a rien dans l'ventre depuis c'matin et qu'ça peut pas durer comme ça…

(Il reste insensible à l'appel de sa fille; même comme elle le secoue trop fortement, il roule sous la table avec un bafouillage incohérent; puis il se tait et reste immobile. Maria en le voyant tomber a un mouvement de recul. De loin, elle le contemple avec mépris).

MARIA

Ce qu'il est bu!… Il est rien complet!

(Charlot enhardi s'est avancé vers son père et l'examine curieusement).

CHARLOT

Mince! quelle culotte!!… Il en dit pas long en c'moment.

MARIA

C'est triste!

CHARLOT

C'est rigolo!

MARIA

Il a réveillonné sans s'inquiéter de nous.

CHARLOT

Et c'est pas ça qui va nous caler l'ventre…

MARIA

Hélas!

CHARLOT

Dis donc… si tu visitais ses profondes. Il a p't'être pas tout raboté.

MARIA

C'est une idée!

(D'un bond, elle se rapproche de l'ivrogne, et délicatement, elle tâte les vêtements et retourne les poches. Du désappointement peu à peu se lit sur son visage).

Non… rien!… Zut!… Ah misère! il a tout boissonné.

CHARLOT

Y faisait soif pour lui.

MARIA, se relevant avec dépit

Ses goussets sont nettoyés comme jamais.

CHARLOT

Alors?… Rien?

MARIA

Rien!… Quel Noël!

CHARLOT

Pas besoin de mettre ses soulier dans la cheminée: c'est la mouise!

MARIA, apercevant la bouteille

Tiens!

CHARLOT

Quoi?

MARIA

Regarde… Cette fiole qu'est presque pleine.

CHARLOT, prenant la bouteille

Il n'aura pas pu boire tout!

MARIA

Montre un peu pour voir.

(Successivement ils sentent le goulot puis goûtent le liquide: la bouteille change donc quatre fois de mains).

CHARLOT

C'est du mêlé-cass?

MARIA

Oui c'est bon!

CHARLOT

Ca chauffe!

(Un instant, ils examinent la bouteille en silence. Charlot timidement).

Dis donc, Maria?

MARIA

Eh bien?

CHARLOT

Si.. si on buvait tout.

MARIA, hésitant

On serait saoult.

CHARLOT

Tant mieux!

MARIA

Oh!

CHARLOT

Si… comme ça, on sentira plus le froid ni la faim.

MARIA, tristement

C'est vrai qu'si on avait le ventre mieux garni, c't'idée-là nous viendrait pas.

CHARLOT

Pardine!

(Il va pour porter à ses lèvres le goulot, mais la main de Maria retient la bouteille).

Oh, non… faut pas!

(Ils baissent la tête pensivement, tenant toujours chacun la bouteille).

CHARLOT, après un temps

A quoi que tu penses, Maria?

MARIA, gravement

Je pense aux réveillons d'autrefois… quand maman vivait…

CHARLOT

Oh, oui! les nuits de Noël.

MARIA, les yeux pleins de larmes

Les belles nuits blanches dont tous les enfants rêvent.

(Ils restent silencieux, l'un près de l'autre, très graves).

CHARLOT, timidement après un temps

Alors.

(Maria saisit brusquement la bouteille),

MARIA

Tant pis… On a rien à s'mettre sous la dent!… Alors!

(Elle boit).

CHARLOT

Ca va être notre réveillon!

(De nouveau la bouteille passe et repasse de main en main. Pendant que le rideau tombe on voit Charlot, ivre, s'appuyer en riant sur sa soeur pendant que celle-ci se soutient au mur pour ne pas tomber).

FIN

MONTIVILLIERS

Imprimerie H. RILLET

10, rue Bavanterie, 10

Ouvrages du même Auteur

THEATRE

La Noël des Petits Gueux, 1 acte.

Paternité, 1 acte.

C'est la Loi! (en collaboration avec George Lomelar), 1 acte

Le Sentier (en collaboration avec Robert Nunès), 3 actes

Le Vieux puits, 2 actes

L'Aumône, 1 acte

ROMANS

La Jeannette.

Le Mystère de Malbackt.

La Douce Aimée.

Cousine Yvette.

Amour Fratricide.

Agonie Morale.

La Faute d'Amy.

L'autre Père.

Le Vieux Puits.

DIVERS

Contes normands.

Nouvelles.

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